How to control Anger in a Relationship

How to control Anger in a Relationship
Singer Rema Namakula and husband Hamza- Courtesy photo

LIFESTYLE- Relationships regularly have their ups and downs, yet anger can affect a relationship for the worst. You may find that you look for negative things in your partner, are quick to assign blame, or accuse your partner readily. These can greatly damage a relationship, and it’s best to address these problems as soon as possible. Resolving conflicts quickly and constructively is the key to moving past blame, guilt, and anger.

1.   Cooling Your Temper during a Fight

Think before speaking. While it may feel easy and gratifying to let your anger out, think before saying your words. Collect your thoughts before speaking in order to prevent yourself from saying something you may regret or that may hurt your partner.

·If you feel like reacting to something your partner did or said, this is a good time to take a step back and collect your thoughts.

2.   Use deep breathing. Focusing on your breath can help calm both your body and your mind and thus relieve your anger. Using deep breathing can separate you from the situation and your feelings of immediate anger and help you focus inward.

3.   Repeat a calming phrase. If you’re having a hard time with your anger, use a word or phrase to remind yourself to keep your composure. Using a word or phrase can help keep you on track and not let your emotions get the best of you.

· Say to yourself, “relax,” or “I am calm,” or “chill.”

· Especially if you feel your anger rising, use a word to keep it at bay.

4.   Express your feelings calmly. It’s possible to express what you’re feeling calmly, even when you feel angry. Aim to focus on expressing your own wants, needs, and feelings without assigning blame, guilt, or hurt to your partner. Use your opportunities to speak by expressing yourself and not attacking your partner.

5.   Call a timeout. If you’re having a difficult time controlling your anger, tell your partner you need some time to yourself. If you fear you may say something hurtful or you need some time to collect your thoughts and feelings, tell your partner that the discussion is important, but you need a break. Go outside, splash water on your face, or take a walk. Do whatever it takes to help calm the temper.