LIFESTYLE- Lately, your relationship has been a little rocky due to your partner’s bad attitude and annoying habit of blaming you for pretty much everything that’s going wrong in their life. Sure, maybe there were one or two things you were actually guilty of, and you owned up to that.
But what should you do if your partner blames you for everything? How can you get things back on track if this has become an established pattern?
1. Speak up and share your perspective
Make your partner know that you’re feeling blamed and catch it as soon as possible. “When left undiscussed, it can begin to become a pattern in the relationship that is seen as ‘OK. Patterns of blaming can lead to unhealthy and potentially abusive relationship styles and should never be tolerated.”
2. Stop and remember that blame isn’t really about you
If your partner blames you for every little thing, stop and think about whether their blame is really aimed at you or not. “I once heard a person say that blame is the discharge of pain,” If someone is telling you you’re the cause of something, remember in the moment that it’s not really true. “It’s about the other person’s shame,”
3. See if you can get to the root of the problem
“If your partner blames you for everything, check yourself and figure out if you’re screwing up more than usual, “If you are, then figure out why. If you’re not, and this is really about your partner being upset about something else and acting out by blaming you, it’s important to get to the root of the problem without escalating any negativity.”
4. Set boundaries and walk away if you need to
If blaming becomes a frequent pattern in your relationship, you may need to set boundaries with your partner.
5. Work together to find a solution
“First, accept that while you may not be ‘to blame,’ you might have a role in the problem,”. “Be curious about what part of the problem is yours.” If you’re hell-bent on shutting down any notion that you might be at fault, that’s a problem too. “Be truly curious and non-defensive to learn your part in it,” Accept responsibility and commit to changing it.”
6. Talk to your partner about what’s going on in their life currently
It’s not unusual for people to become difficult when they’re going through a tough time. There’s no good reason to treat someone poorly. But asking your partner about what’s going on with them can help you decide how to handle their constant blame.
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